Sunday, May 12, 2013

It'd Be Nice To Be Thin... But...

Alright. Today is the day the motivation came. Today, I begin my journey through weight loss. Although, like many others, this isn't the real start of the journey... this is the 50 millionth start of the journey. However, as much as I dislike starting over again and again, and trying every possible different diet out there, I refuse to ever give up completely, and I swear to myself: I will one day convince myself to be thin. Convince me skinny baby!

We all know weight loss is simply a decision. Whether you decide to be rich, decide to quit smoking, decide to be a doctor, it's all simply a decision to CHOOSE what you want to be. I think those of us who struggle with our weight simply struggle because we haven't really chosen that that's what we'd like to accomplish. We continuously complain about our weight and are aware of it, but really we say it because sure, it'd be nice to be thin, but it's not thaaaat necessary, right?

The reason we're on and off all the existing possible diets is because we haven't selected weight loss as our ultimate goal. The obsession. The thing you want most in life. It's more like... well, it'd be nice to have a boat one day, but I don't have to have it today... just sometime in the future, when I happen to live near a lake and have the money to afford that good looking boat boy to clean it for me.  It's just a side project, something that we're half attempting at a shamefully low effort level.

I'm sure the rest of you are like me. You lay in bed at night, fitfully regretting that Molten Chocolate Cake you ordered at Chili's promising yourself that tomorrow will be different. Envisioning your life as a perfect bodied girl sashaying those shapely buns through your beautiful fantasy life- only to wake up with a Krispy Kreme craving and a complete lack of self control.

This is an effort to put those late night "skinny life" scenarios down on paper so they can transform from the unattainable day-dreams I have for myself, to solid written goals. All those "If I were skinny" thoughts, shouldn't just be floating around your mind in the night after a particularly shameful day of binge eating, they should be written for the world to see so that they become real and attainable.

Blogging my struggles, my hopes, my dreams, my goals, my failures, my faults, will be my secret weapon in this month's battle of the scale. Craving a brownie? Perfect, more material for my blog. Instead of giving myself the mental speech about why I shouldn't eat the brownie, I am going to write it down and command myself not to eat the damn brownie.

Follow me on my discovery of the power of putting my dieting thoughts on paper, and convincing myself skinny.

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