I still have a minimum of 30 lbs left to lose, and currently I am approaching the closest thing to a plateau that I have experienced since I started. Monday I begin my 2nd cleanse, which I am very excited about! This means 7 days of unlimited veggies and 3 fruits a day- not so bad. In the past, if I would have hit a plateau I'd have been extremely discouraged and frustrated. Now, I have the knowledge and ability to kick start my system again and continue back on my path to weight loss.
Not only am I losing the weight, the inches, etc, but I am gaining the confidence. I feel so much better. I'm in the stage now where everyone is beginning to notice the differences and shower me with compliments. It's an amazing feeling! It is, however, a dangerous thing at the same time. The more compliments and confidence you get, the better you start to feel about yourself and the less motivation you have toward reaching your goal. Many people struggle with this- I definitely have in the past. But that's what's so different about my goal this time. My goal isn't just to feel better about myself. It's about commitment.
One of the major things I have learned about myself this year, is that I have a problem with commitment. (ha- like everyone else!) No, I'm not talking about relationships (although I am sure that's the case on occasion...). I am talking about commitments to myself. I realized I don't have a problem with goal setting, I just have a problem committing myself to the things I say that I am going to do. Ex: I'm going to do laundry today. I am going to go work out today. The list goes on. This whole experience isn't about just getting healthier, feeling more confident, finding a boyfriend or anything like that. It's about commitment to myself. Making a promise, and keeping your word to yourself.
My entire life, I have been taught that the most important thing you have is your word. Do what you say you are going to do. I have always lived my life that way, but I realized, I only do it for others. If I am committed to a friend, a boyfriend, a promise, whatever, I have no problem keeping that commitment because I gave my word. But when it comes to keeping promises to myself? Worthless. Totally unreliable and honestly, probably blatant flat out lying to myself. I'm a skeez! If I were to treat people the way that I have treated myself, I would have no friends. That's an awful realization to have about yourself!
Sadly, I think that is a very common thing for most people. (Although, it's even sadder that there are plenty of people who are not only okay with lying to themselves, but with lying to other people too) Thankfully, I have the self- awareness to realize and admit this about myself, so I am doing everything in my power to change that. See? So it's not about losing the weight. It's about staying true to yourself, not just true to other people. It's about keeping a promise. It's about being a better person as a whole, in every possible form. So those compliments that make you feel all sexy and proud, sure they feel great. And did you reach your goal of gaining more confidence? Yes. But is it about that? No. You don't stop until you have fulfilled your promise to yourself. Hold yourself accountable.
My vision:
When I say I am going to do something, I do it. Whether I said it out loud, or I said it in the back of my mind. It doesn't matter if it's about doing laundry, meeting a deadline, or not texting that ex back like I swore I never would. I believe in myself. I set goals, and I reach them, no matter how small or how daunting they may be. Because of this, I set an example for the people in my life. People believe in me, because I believe in myself. Sure, feeling sexy helps, but I know that isn't what life is about. The more I grow, I grow to be a better person physically and mentally, so that when I'm old, I have a personality and strong morals that will make me a beautiful person rather than just my looks.
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