Two Options: Either Suffer the Pain of Discipline, or Suffer the Pain of Regret

Okay, you caught me. My last entry was 4 months ago.. I lost it, I gave up, and I failed yet again. However, I confessed in my first post, that I will never quit! So here I am again, but this time with a much stronger success story.

About 2 months ago, I was miserable. Uncontrollably binge eating, gaining weight, and mulling around in self-pity. I couldn't take it anymore; but I also couldn't change by myself. I made a major monetary commitment, and hired a motivational personal trainer/nutritionist. I couldn't pull myself out of it on my own, but with help, I knew I could re-energize and commit myself to someone who believed in me. 

So I began my new life style. The past two months, I have achieved an amazing transition into a low glycemic lifestyle.  Shockingly, I am now gluten, caffeine, sugar (except natural sugars), dairy, and grain free. Two months ago I would have never even believed those words would EVER come out of my mouth. But guess what? I am down 17 lbs in 6.5 weeks and living low GI has been the easiest AND most successful form of weight loss I have ever experienced. What a win!

After a harsh first week of a soft cleanse (unlimited veggies, 3 fruits/day), I stopped craving sweets and snacks. I didn't want any bread or cheese or milk or anything- not even caffeine! I was jumping for joy to be able to add protein to my diet! Since then, I have added low glycemic carbs, and a small amount of fat to my daily diet. So to sum it up, I have 3 proteins, unlimited veggies, 1 fruit, and 2 low glycemic carbs a day. A maybe a serving of fat (almonds, olive oil, almond butter) every other day. Easy peasy!

The best part, is no matter where I go, there is ALWAYS something I can find to eat. Tell me what restaurant doesn't have protein and veggies? Sure you might have to be that snooty meal-modifying customer, but with the right playful/friendly attitude, your waiter/waitress will have no issue making it happen for you. I can go out to eat, I can cook a variety of delicious healthy meals, and enjoy the freshness and extremely flavorful selection of all natural foods that are nothing but good and pure for your body. 

Is avoiding alcohol still an issue? Yes! Alcohol will never be healthy for your body. However, believe it or not, I have achieved this weight loss in 6.5 weeks despite an insane trip to Vegas for a bachelorette party on week 4. Did I look like a serious alcoholic ordering vodka waters? Maybe.. but did I gain a single lb? No! Of course I kept my drinking to a reasonable minimum, and danced in stilettos for hours on end to make up for it. I can't tell you all how amazing it feels to have control of my life back. 

Am I anywhere close to my goal weight? No- I still have at least 35 more lbs to go. Can I do it? Hell yeah! This low gycemic lifestyle isn't something that just goes away. It's not a diet. It's a lifestyle. With continued exercise and support from my trainer Jeremy, I am 4 months from obtaining my goals. But I am confident I will get there! I have no doubt in my mind. 

I've decided to continue my blog and share my success stories with you all. I was afraid to pick it up again after my disappearance, but I can't keep this from you! I feel so amazing and so happy with were I am at in my life. I feel strong, accomplished, proud, THIN, energetic, and happy. Never give up on yourself!

Here is my future outlook for myself:

I have reached my goal weight. Even though I was happy at 130, it was not about just being happy. It was about achieving a goal and accomplishing what I said I was going to do and keeping my word to myself. I am now 120 lbs and I have never felt more accomplished in my life. Not only am I considered "thin" but I am in the best shape of my life. I am toned and proud of every muscle I have earned. I am active on a daily basis, and I cook meals for myself and friends instead of going out to eat, discovering new recipes and enhancing my cooking skills everyday. My friends and family are proud of me, and are motivated by my example to live a healthier life. I take good care of my body because I know this is the body I have for the rest of my life. I think of being an example for my future children and take steps to live a long healthy life every day. Confidence is never an issue because I know I can achieve any goal I set for myself. 

Reality: Confidence > Liquid Courage

Whew... Survived weekend #1 of the diet. Ok, we'll mostly. So according to weight watchers, and several other diet theories, your allowed a "cheat day" or "meal" throughout the week. For me, when I laid out all my goals and steps toward weight loss, I wanted to be realistic. 

As a 20 something socialite living in Austin, "not drinking" is practically a sin here. If you don't drink, you're perceived as boring, un-fun, and no one wants to invite you out. Now, I have tried to get away with it, however I have realized that's the one part of being on a diet that is just not very realistic for me. I don't need a cheat day for a big steak or a big brownie, I need my cheat day to maintain my social life. 

I set up my goal to allow myself one night of drinking if I have attained my goal of 1.5-2lb loss per week. Now if this is going to actually work, I'm not sure. But it's the only way I can see myself sticking with this thing long term... So I'm going to try it. 

It's easy to cut out the sugary drinks and stick with the clear alcohol and the vodka tonics, but the hardest part for me? The hangover. The next day, as you're suffering through your recovery period, all you want to do is eat comfort food and drink delicious sugary drinks that make you feel better. And on top of all those cravings, your fuzzy brain has the hardest time registering the emotion called "caring." What is caring? I don't give a sh** if I'm ruining my diet! Hell, I don't even care if I look or act socially acceptable for the next 3 days, I just want to feel better. Horrible!

Thankfully, I was able to get it together this weekend, drag my hungover ass out of bed and go for a miserable excuse for a jog. But it was a step toward something good for myself! The #1 best cure to a hangover is exercise. Sweat it all out and you will feel so much better. Are the first 10 mins the most miserable torture you could possibly imagine? Sure, but even if you drive yourself to vomit, at least your burning calories and riding your system of the filth you poisoned it with the night before. Think of the positive! 

I used to be in the best habit of working out first thing in the morning after a particularly wild night. I think I managed it because I was most likely still drunk first thing in the morning, so I wasn't necessarily in the hang over mode just yet. But I don't know what happened! It used to be a religion for me, but now it's practically impossible for me to accomplish. Yet another one of those things that you know will make you feel better and solve all your problems, but you just can't convince yourself to do it. Talk about masocistic...

But okay, so imagine this...

You know how confident and beautiful you feel when you've been drinking? Imagine feeling that way all the time. No insecure thoughts about how bad you feel in any tight clothing, you know you look good. It's easy to talk to your crush, and you don't even flinch when he goes in for a hug, placing his hands on your sides where your love handles used to be. And even on those nights where you do go out and indulge in some alcohlic activities, you don't pay for a single drink, all the bartenders love you, and in the morning, you know the guy who got your number last night will still adore you rather than being concerned it was just a misjudged drunken attraction. All the feel-good thoughts about yourself are true facts and dancing the night away, you receive nothing but adoring looks from people who want to be around you. You don't need any liquid courage to make yourself feel good about yourself, you feel good no matter what. 

(The more I read that, the sadder it is, but you know those of us who are overweight are our own worse critics. It's all about confidence, and that's what I want to achieve through my weight loss.)